Yar mateys! This post comes to ye courtesy of shipmates Furiously Fabulous Pistol-Pumps and Cutlass Colie, the Saucy Subduer. The lasses got on me case for not giving them entertainment on a more reg'lar basis (demanding pirates that they be), and I vowed on me grandparents' watery graves to give 'em what they crave. Which is, of course, more of Sinister-Boots' tales of mayhem and piracy!
Admittedly, this pirate feels a wee bit o' shame that this partic'lar piratical post is going up a week after the actual event. But I've been out wenching, as usual, so I know ye'll forgive ol' Sinister-Boots and be happy that her love life is sailing right along.
Last Sunday I had to call upon all my piratical courage and sauciness. Ye may ask "why be that so, oh well-endowed one?" Well, I'll tell ye. I went on me first acting audition.
It took guts and a certain level of empty-headedness to sign up for this audition in the first place, because the mad-dog directors were callin' for a monologue. Now, I've only done one monologue in me entire life, and it was never exactly polished. I almost used this as an excuse to not go for the audition. But then a voice roared up inside of me asking "are ye or are ye NOT a dastardly pirate, who could strut and swashbuckle across a stage with the best of 'em? Ye ARE, and ye'll call for the audition, or turn tail in shame for not having lived yer life all the way to what it could be!"
So I made the call right then and there. So what if I never formally studied "how to approach, work, and perform a monologue?" I had a month to work up the monologue to the best of my abilities, which are considerable, being a talented pirate wench.
Arr, mateys, I worked hard and long at that monologue. It would have made a right fine musical montage, perhaps with Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" playing in the background. And it would have ended with me a two-hours' sail away from my hometown, standing on a stage, lit from above by a spotlight, fist raised in triumph as I portrayed the Queen of England sending a rogue scoundrel from her sight.
In short, 'twas a fine audition, with a callback, and it doesn't even matter if they say yea or nay to my fine arse (but they'd be fools to say nay to such a well-endowed collection of talents). What is important (swell the sappy music, please) is that in excellent pirate fashion I charged full ahead towards something I wanted even though I was scared and not as "prepared" as I usually am for these things. But all my schooling and preparation has thus far gotten me nowhere, so it was time to try a new tactic.
A pirate tactic.
Well that's about it for this piratical post. And cross my heart and hope to die, lassies, but I swear upon me jolly roger to keep ye entertained on a more frequent basis.
Oh, and a word about the wenching...one involved gentleman (and a fine gentleman he be) has boarded me facebook page and now has access to these notes. So although my wenching exploits would be oh-so-appropriate for these pirate pages, they'll have to be kept below decks for now.
And if ye see this, you fine gentleman you, all I've got to say is "shiver me timbers!" You know what I mean.